Damn, that's fine.

A nightly plan to smoke hookah with hall friends was aborted at the last minute, which means that I have a legitimate excuse to sit around in my underwear and update my travel blog. Isn't life grand?



If there is one thing that got annoying after a while, it was people telling me, "Now don't be chewing gum or littering over there!" upon hearing that I was studying abroad in Singapore. As though I spend every second of my life throwing trash on the streets while snapping a piece of pink bubble gum really loudly.

Singapore has some pretty wacky laws, and knows it. This is evident in all the T-shirts, shot glasses, refrigerator magnets, key chains and other hokey tourist item known to man that boast all the notorious fines that this country is known for. While most of the laws enforced within this tiny country-state seem rational enough (No urinating in lift? No littering? Fine for not flushing? Sure, why not?), other laws start venturing into what-the-fo-sheeeeeez territory. No flower-picking or bird-feeding? That's a shame. I personally don't have too much of a problem with the no gum policy, only because I am more of a mint person, but no public dancing?

Now I've only seen this particular fine touted on tourist items, so I don't know the specifics of it. However, it makes me wonder where the enforcement officials draw the line at the definition of public dancing, and why this limitation was even created in the first place. It is one thing to get into a crotch-grinding freak orgy in the middle of a busy traffic intersection, but what if you happen to have a very jaunty walk and a nervous tic of snapping your fingers? What if your epileptic fits somewhat resemble avant-garde ballet?

A friend of mine suggested that this is a ripe goldmine for a possible musical.

Which brings me to present an idea that has been cultivating in my head for the last few days or so....

TRASH! The Singaporean musical
A tale of forbidden love, revolution and TRASH

SYNOPSIS:

JIA XIANG is a beautiful young woman living in the uptown of Singapore whose life couldn’t be more perfect. Recently engaged to the prominent government official YUN HAN, Jia Xiang still cannot help that something is missing in her life and she doesn’t know what… until meeting the mysterious foreigner CHARLIE, who changes her life forever! Charlie is a dashing young man with a daring heart, much unlike the cold and bureaucratic Yun Han who only cares about rules and regulations. Charlie tells Jia Xiang of how in distant lands, people are allowed to litter, chew gum, pick flowers and dance in the streets! Jia Xiang cannot believe her ears, and Charlie breaks out into a song…

CHARLIE:

If only you can see

Sprawled like confetti

Litter all around

Like stardust on the ground

CHORUS:

TRASH!

On the streets and in the air

TRASH!

It brings color everywhere

TRASH!

Oh, what lovely freedom…

He then picks a flower off private property (which is illegal!) and gives it to Jia Xiang. The scene ends in a passionate kiss.

Charlie and Jia Xiang continue their forbidden affair behind Yun Han. A very jealous and suspicious Yun Han somehow finds out and frames Charlie as the criminal responsible for vandalizing a government buildling. In an emotionally wrenching scene, Charlie is publicly caned before Jia Xiang’s tearful eyes and immediately deported out of the country, never to be seen again.

Heartbroken beyond words, Jia Xiang realizes that she cannot go back to her strictly regulated life after meeting Charlie. She decides to go against everything she’s known to start a revolution….

I’m not sure what happens next, but the climax involves a dance-off between the rag-tag civilians and the government officials. The government officials come in clicking their canes, which of course are used as instruments of oppression than fancy musical accessories. Through the power of dance and free love, the restless, repressed young people of the country-state overthrow the entire infrastructure of Singapore. In the grand finale, the entire cast is completely stoned out of their minds (posession of drugs is a death penalty in the country, of course) and throw packets of gum out to the audience.

If all goes as plans, the audience breaks out into a riot after curtain call.

I hope I don't get fined for writing this.